50 Shades of Evil: Texas

0:05 M m. A Wall Street line, shackle change, Oh someome gird, it's calling my name. There is no mercy and it's been a tentery juice as the huge stream game Wrangle three, come by me to die inside these walls, inside the wild.

0:56 Han't went the girl as. I'm hey everyone, and welcome back to Bloody Angola Podcast. I'm your host Jim Chapman, and i am starting a brand new series today. I'm going to be calling fifty Shades of Evil Now. Each week with this series, I'm going to be bringing you the story of some of the most dangerous inmates in each of the fifty states. This week, to start off the series, I'm bringing you to Texas and I'm going to tell you the story of Texas inmate Billy Joel Tracy.

2:03 And I did research this, y'all, and his parents were not a fan of Billy Joel. Surprisingly enough, it just so happens he has the same first and middle name, but he is currently on death row at the Polunsky Unit, where he is housed for one of the most brazen acts of prison violence in recent Texas history. Billy Joel Tracy was originally sentenced to life for aggravated assault and burglary, and it was not long before he became a documented menace behind bars. He racked up over twenty seven assaults on correctional officers alone before he actually killed a forty seven year old correctional officer. So let's get into it, and I'm going to take you back to November thirtieth of nineteen seventy seven. That's when Billy Joel Tracy was born in the town of Zanesville, Wisconsin. And for those not familiars, Zanesville is a rather large city sixty five thousand residents. It's known for its outdoor recreation. It has great hiking trails as well as recreational boating along what is known as the Rock River. But Billy Joel he was not really in that area long enough to enjoy it.

3:24 While still an infant, his family relocates to Dallas, Texas. Now, this was the late seventies. Dallas, Texas at that time was booming economically, and in his parents' mind, it seemed like a good place to settle with their only child, Billy and seek work. Now, while the Dallas area was going through a major economic boom during that time due primarily to the oil industry. The Tracy family not so much, and when Tracy was around seven years old, they actually move again, this time to Colorado, but three years later they would return back to the Dallas, Texas area, in specifically Rockwell County. Now, growing up through adolescents in the nineties, Billy would start what I would call his descent into crime, and he would gain kind of a reputation around the Rockwell area as being very volatile. This would lead to some psychiatric issues that would lead to his mother actually hospitalizing him at twelve years old in a psychiatric hospital. Now, his parents really all the documented details that I have on his parents, they suffered from mental issues themselves. There were allegations of physical abuse that would occur during Billy's upbringing,

4:55 and the household at this point would be considered very functional. So he's going in and out of these psychiatric hospitals and they're not really finding him. When I say they, doctors are not really finding anything that would necessarily point to him being mentally ill. So he would get released pretty quick and he would return to his household. But the issues with Billy would continue to persist. He was just not a good kid man. He was always getting into trouble, and by the time he reached seventeen years old, his mother had enough. He was incorrigible, just a bad kid, and she would kick him out of the house. So Billy Joel Tracy, he's on his own at seventeen years old, and he has to make his way right, no lifeboat anymore, He can't go back home to mom and dad's house.

5:49 And it was just a few months later that he gets arrested for retaliation against a witness to a crime, and because he was a juvenile. While at this time the records on that particular case were not released, they were sealed. However, he does get a three year jail sentence, which he starts serving, and after twenty months in prison, he does get paroled on that jail sentence. And at this point in time, it's July of nineteen ninety six, so he's back out into the real world and he's got to make his way again. The state of Texas is not paying for him to have a room and boarding food anymore. And he does get a job he's performing primarily manual labor, and he also gets an apartment, and hey, maybe this kid is scared straight by this point, after serving those twenty months in prison, no way, not a chance with this guy. In nineteen ninety eight, at the age of just twenty years old, he makes the biggest mistake of his short life thus far, when on the evening of January twenty eighth of nineteen ninety eight, he invites a friend over to his apartment for drinks.

7:12 This is in Garland, Texas. His friend brings along his girlfriend, who is sixteen year old Casey Coon, and they start drinking beer, primarily nothing super hard, and Billy starts making sexually suggestive remarks to his sixteen year old Coon. Now he's twenty years old. At this time, her boyfriend is sitting right there in Coon. She's like, I was worried, but I wasn't that worried because my boyfriend was right there. I felt safe at the time, so I was just blowing off and ignoring those comments. Now, eventually she and her boyfriend would leave. Her boyfriend brings her home where Casey lived with her mother, and she get dressed for bed, take a shower. She'd crack open the window to smoke a cigarette, and around that time, much to her surprise, Billy Joel Tracy appears at the window and he starts tapping on it. She sees this, she tells him to go away, and he not only ignores that request, but he gets pissed and he basically bends the frame of that window to gain entry into the house. And this sixteen year old girl at this time, she is basically shocked.

8:35 So you have heard me discuss before the three f's fight, flight, or freeze. That's the three responses people are going to have to high stress scary situations. And in Casey's case, it was definitely freeze. She just stood there, she was unable to scream, and Billy Joel Tracy made his way into her bedroom. Now, as soon as he gets in her bedroom, he starts disrobing. He removes his shirt, he takes off his shoes, and he attempts to kiss this sixteen year old girl, Casey Khon. At this point, she responds to that kiss and she bites the shit out of his lip. In response to that, Billy Joel Tracy hits her, knocks her to the ground, jumps on top of her, and he starts strangling her to the point she loses consciousness. So the next thing, Casey kuh knows she's waking up, and she's in the back of Tracy's car on the floorboard. She's bloody, she's very bruised up.

9:44 And upon noticing that she has regained consciousness in the back of that car while he's driving Billy Joel, Tracy just continues to beat on her. He then drives to a park in Rockroll, Texas, and y'all, this is the middle of the night, it's like three point thirty in the morning. He pulls in that park, he pulls Casey out of the car, he drags her in the woods, and he just continues to relentlessly beat on her. Now, about this point in time, a police officer by the name of Paul Brett. He's driving by that park and he happens to notice a car parked in the parking lot.

10:26 So he pulls up to investigate the situation, initially thinking it's some underage kids drinking in the car or something like that. But when he pulls up, he hears a very faint scream, help me. It wasn't even a scream that he would describe later as a loud scream. It was very faint, but it was a scream that he knew someone was in serious trouble. So the officer pops his flashlight up in the tree line where he heard that coming from in the park, and he sees Billy Tracy on top of sixteen year old Casey Kohn. Now at that point, Tracy sees the flashlight, he sees where it's coming from, and rather than run away, he runs straight at this police officer full speed. The police officer shocked by this officer Britt, he draws his gun and before he could even point it in the direction of Billy Tracy, the two begin to fight in this park.

11:34 And keep in mind Billy Tracy young guy twenty years old. He's not very big, maybe about five eight, but he is very strong and very muscular. Now the police officer, Paul Britt, he's no slouch himself, and he's still relatively young as well. He's only thirty years old at this time, and he's well built, muscular. So they start going at it, and they literally fight for six minutes straight. They were kicking each other, punching each other. And look, six minutes straight of this, y'all, this is like an eternity in a fistfight. No stopping, no resting, just swing after swing after swing, wrestling with each other, etc. Fortunately, during this melee, if you will, the officer was able to access his radio on his shoulder and call for backup. What's running through his mind at this time is, if I can keep this guy off of me long enough and I can continue to fight him long enough until backup arrives, I may actually have a chance here. And shout out to this officer that he was able to actually do that just before he was totally exhausted and Billy Tracy would start getting the best of him. Backup shows up.

12:58 So Billy Tracy sees this other officer arrive at the scene and he haul's ass into the woods. Now, first instinct from this officer he was fighting, Paul Brett was to give chase to the suspect right but when he took off to run after Billy, he notices this sixteen year old girl, Casey Kuhn, was still alive. Now he had assumed because she had moved during this whole six minute fight, didn't even breathe that he could tell that she was dead, but she wasn't. So rather than chase Billy down these officers, Paul Brett and his backup. They chose to render aid to sixteen year old Casey Kuhn, which turned out to be the right decision because she lived, although barely. She would suffer a broken orbital bon, a broken nose, lost teeth, permanent vision damage, and she would require facial reconcstructive surgery. So as soon as police would get an ambulance and it would arrive and Casey Couhn would be loaded onto that ambulance, it's time to find this assailant. Alerts get issued for everybody to stay in their house. Helicopters are deployed, and Billy Joel Tracy is on the run. And police knew who he was because they interviewed Casey Kuhn obviously at the Saint and she said his name. So he's on the run and he

14:31 would break into several houses during this manhunt. He would steal cash, he would steal food from these houses. And eleven hours later, Tracy would make a mistake and break into an occupied house. Now the people living there, Joyce Lemons and her daughter, They obviously are startled by this. They run out the front door to a neighbor's house, and that neighbor would call police. So police arrive at the scene and Billy Joel Tracy climbs to the roof of this three story house. He stands on the top of it, on the peak if you can picture that.

15:13 He screams bye bye to the police, and he literally does a backflip off of the house. He hits a tree, a bunch of limbs, and then he lands in a flower bed. And he's somewhat injured in this incident, but nothing major. However, he was injured enough that police were able to take him into custody right there in the flower bed. Now, at this point, he goes to jail and on July thirty first of nineteen ninety eight, he gets sentenced for the attempted murder of Casey Kuhn, as well as a slew of other charges. And when it was all said and done, he ended up with two life sentences plus twenty years for the burglaries that he committed during those eleven hours on the run. And to say that this guy was not a model prisoner when he got to prison would be putting it lightly. As soon as Billy Joel Tracy goes to prison, he's getting written up left right in sideways. And he's a young kid, y'all, twenty one years old at this time. He would spend the majority of that early time in prison in segregation, and every time he would get out of segregation and go back into general population, his favorite thing to do seemed to be assaulting other inmates and especially correctional officers.

16:43 He would flood his cell a lot, just to piss off the officers on his tier and just to be a menace. Twenty seven different assaults, y'all in a short period of time. He eventually gets transferred because they just can't handle him at this prison, and he gets transferred to what's known as the Clemens Unit in Amarillo, Texas. And look, Texas, they don't call their prisons prisons. They call them units, and they all of course have different names, and we're gonna mention many of those today because he gets transferred so many times. But at this point, it's November of two thousand and five that I'm going to bring you to November twenty specifically, and Billy Joel Tracy at this time was twenty seven years old. Now at the time of the incident that I'm going to tell you about, Billy was on the third floor of what is known as the iPod. I know, I know, that's convenient, but it's called iPod. They use letters there. And a CEO working the pod at that time was a female by the name of Katie Stanley, and she is on the third floor of that tier in the iPod and she's just walking the pod doing her job, right. And look this particular prison, the Clemings Unit, they had cameras everywhere, like three hundred different cameras, so this is all on

18:14 surveillance video. And you can see on that surveillance video Katie Stanley walking that tear and you see Billy Joel Tracy basically come out of nowhere and just jump on her and he is raining down punches, he's kicking her, and he's wielding a prison made shank. He stabs her seven times, stabbing her in the neck, stabbing her in the lungs, stabbing her in the kidneys. The attack was so brutal, in fact, that the only reason he stopped is because he lost his shank inside of her body. Literally.

19:00 When that happens, he gets up and he attempts to throw her off the third floor of the tiered in the surveillance video, you can see him kind of struggling to pick her up and put her over that railing. He eventually gave up on that and he just basically lets her body fall to the ground and runs off down the tier. Obviously, officers take him into custody in the tier and they questioned him about the attack, and Billy Joel Tracy said it was because his cell was constantly getting tossed, and that primarily he was pissed because his toothpaste kept getting confiscated and that someone had to pay for that, and it just so happened that she was the one working that day that it wasn't personal against her. Now, in the trial that ensued, Katie Stanley, who would live, she described Billy Tracy's face as being completely blank during that attack. She said he had no emotion whatsoever. Now for that attack, which clearly is a case of attempt to murder, right, Billy Joel Tracy, he receives just an additional forty five years, which you're serving two life sentences. And that's what makes this guy say dangerous or really any anybody that's serving life, is that I have anything to lease. I mean, he got forty five years on top of two life sentences. That's like nothing.

20:31 As for Katie Stanley, not only did she recover, but shout out to this lady. She actually continued to work as a CEO after her recovery. So after this incident, Billy gets transferred to another prison and that is a Robertson unit. This is in Abilene, Texas. And just four years later, in January of two thousand and nine, he attacks yet an another correctional officer, this time by the name of Brian Lomas. And Billy. At this point he had quite a reputation as an extremely dangerous inmate, and he also had what you would call special circumstances when handling him. He would be under constant guard and he was transported everywhere by officers. But despite this, somehow this guy managed to be caught with contraband pretty frequently, everything from homemade screwdrivers to needles to razor blades. His cell would be searched often, and he would develop a particular disdain for CEO Brian Lomas now Lumais. During one of these cell tossing INCIDENTUS confiscated Tracy's mail and as I describe to you, a few minutes ago. This guy does not like it when officers take stuff out of his cell.

22:02 He not only viewed this as a personal attack, but he also felt as though he had no choice but to retaliate. So it's safe to say that Correctional Officer Brian Lomas was on his shit list after that. Well, in January of two thousand and nine, Tracy was escorted to the shower area by CEO Brian Lomas. He takes his shower and upon it finishing, he is to be transported back to his cell. When out of the clear blue sky, Billy Joel Tracy brandishes what's known as a razor whip, which essentially is a shank made out of disposable razor blades, and he starts slashing Brian Lomas's face. Now, he was restrained initially, but he managed somehow to slip out of these cuffs and the slash to the CEO's face were so severe that his face required two hundred stitches to close the cuts and led to permanent facial scorn.

23:14 So he gets convicted after a trial of assault on a public servant and guess what he gets an additional ten years. That's it, and again Billy Joel Tracy is moved to yet another prison, this time to the Huge Unit, which is in Gatesville, Texas. And at this time he is thirty three years old. So let's get to April of twenty fourteen, and at this time, with the new convictions for all those assaults on correctional officers, Billy is serving two life sentences plus an additional seventy five years. He didn't have a whole lot to lose and obviously has no intent to get better or even try to rehabilitate himself, so he starts plotting an escape and he hooks up with two other inmates to devise the plan.

24:08 And it's important to note that these two accomplices, if you will, and Billy Tracy, they were all in what's known as AZAG, which is administration segregation, So they were locked down twenty three hours a day and they're only allowed out for an hour a day for recreation, exercise, etc. But somehow Billy managed to smuggle in tools, and these tools would be used by these three inmates to cut bars in the exercise area of the prison. Now to conceal this, they would paint over the cuts and they would use matching paints so that the cuts would not be noticeable, and they would actually communicate in Spanish when the CEOs were around that they knew did not speak Spanish.

24:59 Even though Billy was not of Spanish descent, he was fluent in the language. But fortunately, over time some astute officers, they would notice some irregularities in the bars and they would halt that escape before any breach had taken place. I mean, could y'all imagine this guy, Billy Tracy breaking out of prison. Holy smokes. So this incident in twenty fourteen led to Billy Joel Tracy's transferred to yet another prison, and in this case a murder. So let's go to July fifteenth of twenty fifteen, and Billy Joel Tracy at this time is housed at the Telford Unit. This is in New Boston, Texas, And I'm going to tell you about an incident involving a relatively new correctional officer at that time, a forty seven year old by the name of Timothy Davidson. Now he had actually he started at the prison just seven months prior. He had no prior experience in corrections. He had relocated from another state after his brother who happened to work at the prison teaching inmates.

26:13 He gets him an interview at the prison. It went well and they hired him. He was a father of two daughters and he was assigned to the AgSe Guinnett. Now, fellow officers would describe him as somewhat quiet, always on time, always ready to work, very eager to learn. Just a joy to work with this guy. So on the morning of July fifteenth of twenty fifteen, around nine o'clock am, Billy Tracy is being escorted by Officer Davidson from a day room, which, y'all, that's one hour per day of recreation room for the inmates. That's where their wreck area is.

26:54 He's escorting Billy back to his single cell, which incidentally is SELL sixty six on what's known as EPOD. Now, Tracy at this time obviously well known how dangerous he is, and his hands are handcuffed behind his back as he's being escorted. Now by this point, due to his reputation, typically Billy Joel Tracy would be double cuffed. However, for whatever reason, he was just in single cuffs with his hand behind his back. So as the correctional officer in Billy Tracy. They start ascending the staircase that leads to Billy sell. Billy slips one of his hands out of those handcuffs, and remember he had a history of doing that.

27:40 He actually mastered somehow how to slip out of handcuffs and Officer Davison does not notice this. They continue walking up those stairs. You can see that in the surveillance videos. They reach the top of these stairs and Billy, out of nowhere, suddenly punches Officer Davidson in the face and he hits him so hard he knocks the correctional officer to the floor. And he then grabs what's known as a metal tray slot bar out of the waste belt of the officer. And y'all, this is a metal bar used to open a cell door slide tray to pass food through that cell. It's about sixteen inches long. Think of it as a crowbar with a bent end, a slightly bent end. So he starts beating Officer Timothy Davidson directly on the head with this slot bar, and he continues to do that even after Davidson loses consciousness. And when he's done, he picks up Davidson's body and he throws him unconscious headfirst down the first flight of metal stairs that they just walked up, and he paused just long enough to grab the officer's pepper spray out of his duty bell. So the officer goes down them stairs still unconscious, and he starts spraying this pepper spray in

29:12 the air. And the reason that he did that was to keep officers from coming up the flight of stairs without choking, etc. After all that, he calmly turns around, walks into his cell and awaits the Special Response team to extradite him. Now, Correctional Officer Timothy Davidson, he's airlifted to the hospital. He has massive injuries to his face, and later his injuries were described as making his face unrecognizable. He's succumbed to his injuries just a few hours later and he dies. Over ten thousand people attend the funeral of Correctional Officer Timothy Davidson. The entire state of te Axis was appalled at the brutality of this incident. Now, as I told you, the entire event was caught on cameras throughout the prison, so there was no denying that Billy was responsible, and he was of course immediately subdued upon them entering his cell, he will respond by calling the staff stupid for not having at least a lieutenant guarding him. And he admitted right off that he was responsible, saying, quote, maybe it will be another guard next time. Billy would go on to say that the reason he did that was the correctional officer owed him a cell phone for five hundred dollars that he gave the correctional officer. But

30:44 no evidence, of course, exists of this, and it's widely known this was total bullshit, and he claimed that he just wanted to assault the guard, he didn't want to kill him. But I mean, you hit this guy at least six times with essentially a crow bar after he's unconscious, then throw him down a flight of stairs head first. Bring that bullshit somewhere else. You absolutely intended to kill this guy. Now, during the trial, they instituted some major security measures, including installing a giant bolt in the floor where he would sit at the desk for his trial, and they would lock his shackles into the bolt, and that was to ensure he would not be able to get up at all during the trial. And the question was not whether he was guilty or not guilty. They had all that on surveillance video. The question was what type of punishment is he going to get for this?

31:47 There was no remorse, There was no emotion at all during the entire extent of this trial. The jury watched the entire video of the attack in the brutality of it, and that would cement Billy's fate because that surveillance video is just horrific. So, after trial, he was found guilty in the murder of correctional officer Timothy Davidson, and the jury I only had to deliberate for just an hour to find that guilty verdict. He was sentenced to death by lethal injection on November fifteenth of twenty seventeen for that murder at the age of thirty nine years old. Now, after this, Billy Tracy was transferred to the Alan Polunsky Unit.

32:41 This is in Livingston, Texas, and that's where their death row is. And as you would expect, there were a ton of appeals and all those appeals were eventually exhausted. However, as of this recording, in January of twenty twenty six, Billy Joel Tracy, who is now forty eight years old still sits on death Row with one hundred and eighty other inmates in Texas currently awaiting execution, and he's currently widely known as the State of Texas' most dangerous inmate. So before I wrap this one up, Billy Joel Tracy.

33:24 He's written several articles, if you will, while on death Row, discussing his daily life, etc. And I want to read one to you, which, to me is the very definition of Billy Joel Tracy's narcissism. So it reads November fifteenth of twenty seventeen, I was sentenced to die by lethal injection for the death of Timothy Davidson, a Texas Department of Criminal Justice guard. After being sentenced to death, I was immediately taken from the courtroom by Department of Correction transportation officers and driven to the Polunsky Unit in Levings in Texas, where the men of Death Row are housed in solitary confinement. Four hours after being sentenced to die, I find myself inside a cell the State of Texas had spent the previous two weeks modifying for me in anticipation of me receiving the sentence of death. The specifically modified cell is housed on twelve billing a pod one section and is the section named death Watch. The death watch section is for those death row inmates whose appeals have run out and have received their execution date their date to die. They each are given at least ninety one days to prepare some last ditch appeals and get their affairs in order before the state section execution starts.

34:48 On this section, they are kept away from other death row inmates who have not received execution dates. The death watch section has fourteen cells, all with cameras inside the cells in the upper left corner with a view of the entire cell. There are monitors inside, two separate control pickets, two different warden officers, and a surveillance office where the footage inside the sales can be viewed. A Texas senator even has access to this live footage. There's zero privacy. The cameras were installed years ago under the pretext of helping prevent suicide attempts, allegedly so Texas could preserve the condemned life until they were ready to extinguish it themselves.

35:29 And you know what, he's absolutely correct on that it is the state's job to see out the sentence that was imposed by the people of said state. And you can't just kill yourself because that's not what your sentence is. Your sentence is to die via the state in which you were convicted in. And so yeah, that's their job to keep you alive so that they can kill you. I'm glad you acknowledge that the death watch section has more than one in dark purpose. Texas is infamous for getting the maximum amount of suffering it can out of each taxpayer dollar. Texas also houses inmates it doesn't like on death watch inmates who do not have execution dates.

36:14 Under the guise of security, Texas puts inmates on death watch without an execution date, so they will have to endure living with a camera inside of their cell. But more importantly so they are surrounded by men with just days from death, constantly reminded of their doom, and constantly suffering the loss of friends. Imagine the only people you are around are those with a few months to live, getting to know them, watching them experience their last days, then finally watching them be led away to be killed. Now expllate that over the years. Can you imagine the psychological impact this would have on someone? Three other death or inmates have been housed on death watch as punishment. Y'all, this is this guy's what is he smoking here? Two were moved after nine and thirteen months. The thirty has been in this section over eight years and has endured over one hundred men being led to their death. Fifteen were his friends. In twenty eighteen, he gave up on his appeals because he could no longer take the psychological trauma of watching men live out their last days. His words to me were quote, I'm done, Billy, I'm done.

37:29 He later decided to continue his appeals at the urging of his family, but not because he wants to live. The cell my captor spent two weeks modifying as a psychological torture chamber. It's the only sell in Texas like it. They cut the steel table and shelf off the wall. They cut the still locker box where we store our property that was welded underneath the bunk. This is so I have no comfortable place to write, eat, or store my property. Well, you know what, that's what freaking happen. When you assault twenty seven different correctional officers and kill one of them, it's your fault, not anybody else's. He goes on to say, I must store my property and bags on the floor. This is a very bad situation in prison because the sewage pipes back up all the time.

38:17 When that occurs, the raw sewage being flushed down the toilets backs up and comes out of the drains set into the floor outside of the cells. One such drain is two feet from my cell door. Multiple times the drains have backed up and the sewer water has flooded into my cell, causing me to lose everything it touched on my floor. When this happens, I must pile all my uncontaminated property onto my bunk. Same dude bitching about this that would flood his cell hundreds of times in the past, just to piss the correctional officers off. He goes on to say, this leaves me no place to sit or lay, so I must just stand in the sewer water or sit on my toilet until a maintenance crew can unclog the pipes. I've had to stand sit like this for hours at a time. This creates extreme anxiety on me. When I go to sleep with a cell flood, I'm always waking up to check my floor for water. I cannot ever truly relax with no table to eat from. I must set my tray of food onto my sink. My toilet is directly under my tray of food. Eating directly over a toilet is an appetite killer. Again, you put yourself in prison, and you put yourself in death.

39:26 Row Texas has also welded metal plates with small holes in them over the inflow and overflow air vents. This restricts the heat and air conditioning into my cell to such an extent that it's made my cell a hot box in the summer and an ice box in the winter. I'm almost always an extreme temperature inside of this cell. What is worse is the outflow vent, the vent that sucks the air out. Because slowly the screen will fill up with dust. It ends up looking like the filter in a dryer when you don't clean it out for a long time. A metal plate over the vent. The only way to clear it of the caked up dust is to put my mouth over each hole and repeatedly suck the dust into my mouth and throat, then spit it out. There are thirty holes. I dread doing this.

40:13 I'm left coughing for hours afterward. I must do it, though if I do not, the cell becomes even more oppressive when no circulation. Well, poor guy. My cell door was also rebuilt, adding a steel box over the food slot so the guards can open it and set whatever item inside the box and close it. Then they open a smaller door so I can reach into the box for items. Two layers of plexiglass were placed over the outside of the door, covering the two observation sleds. More metal was welded to the bottom and sides of the doors so the door sealed. This restricts airflow and makes it hard for others to hear anything I say. This guy needs to figure out where he's at. Right on top of all that, I'm also only allowed to recreate all alone outside with a supervisor standing there watching me the entire time. The reckyard has two cages in it designed for two people to utilize, yet I am the only one allowed to recreate alone alone every day outside and inside myself alone alone except for when I have a visitor. Even then a supervisor stands directly behind me to intimidate my visitor. Living under such oppression would be hard for anyone to cope with. It's even harder to endure for someone like me who has a disability. I have severe organic brain damage. The neurological issues I deal with cost issues commonly seen in people with mental illness.

41:43 I grew up in and out of mental institutions because my brain damage was unknown and misdiagnosed as one mental illness or another, most commonly intermitte explosive disorder. I've never received treatment for my brain damage and when unknown until the day I committed the crime in nineteen ninety eight that I received a life sentence for Texas. Treatment plan for me has been to warehouse me in long term solitary confinement. Solitary confinement which is proven to only worsen people with the impulse aggression problems like I have. I've spent almost nineteen years of the last twenty one and a half in solitary. At the time of the crime, I'm on death row flour I've been in solitary for nine and a half years, and now at the time of writing this piece, I've been in solitary for fourteen and a half of the past seventeen years. As brutal as my living conditions are hardest by far to endure psychologically.

42:40 Isn't this cell recreating alone and living under constant surveillance or standing for hours in sewage. It's living around men who are living out their last days. Over the past eighteen months that I've lived on Death Watch, I've made more friends than in all of my other years incarcelready combined. Something about living so close to death causes most to drop their fronts and open up with each other. It's how we cope, I guess, reaching out to others for help, support, comfort, and understanding. I have become very close, very quickly, with several of these men, only to watch them taken away and poisoned until their lives are over. I've watched sixteen men walk away to their death. I've been in mourning since January twenty eighteen, a morning that starts over and over, with layer upon layer added, and I know it will never end. I must wish that all of these men were assholes and repugnant personalities, so I wouldn't mourn them.

43:37 Several times, imost decide to quit getting to know any of these men, just to hibernate within myself, to armor my heart and not allow anyone else in. And y'all, I just can't take any more of that. You noticed, it's all about him. It's all about Billy Joel Tracy and how he's suffering in prison. No acknowledgment of the fact that he he was in prison for the attempted murder of a sixteen year old that he tried to rape when he was twenty and then when he gets in there, he tries to kill two correctional officers and kills a third, and he just can't understand why he's being constantly watched, why they're so mean to him in prison, and why his living conditions are so bad. That is the definition of a narcissist, and that's Billy Joel Tracy.

44:37 There you have it now. Next week I will continue with this series fifty Shades of Evil, and I'm going to go to another state. Will it be yours? Well? Check us out next week to find out. And until next time for Bloody and Gola, I'm Jim Chapman, Peace, I. Walk straight line, shackle change, Oh weesome, Girdie. It's calling by the name there is no mercy and this being a tentery juice as the huge stream game Wrangle three.

45:40 I'm here behind by here to. Die inside these walls. Inside the Wise an't went more as I know. It's so Very angle, very ang